Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
