So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
