I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
