If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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