Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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