Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
where does the pee come out of this thing
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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