$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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