Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
