I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
