hell yes lets make some ravioli
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
