First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize