i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
