sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
