A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
