you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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