I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
