So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
