I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
