Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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