Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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