He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
