You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
