Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I need mimosas to revive my soul
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
