thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
