theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
In America we eat man semen.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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