At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The uberlube is also flammable
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
