he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
