Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
