just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
