I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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