Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
