Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
