and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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