Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
