I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
