can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
