And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
