Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
