East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
