you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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