I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
