I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
