Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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