I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
