i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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