Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
