never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
