no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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