Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
