My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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