Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
