ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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