It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
