I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
