just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
