i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
