i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
