She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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