Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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