Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
