Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
