So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
