I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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