Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
