I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
