To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
