You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
