Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
