I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
