It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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